


A year in the life

by pomonasprout



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Depression, F/M, First War with Voldemort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 14:54:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18284561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomonasprout/pseuds/pomonasprout
Summary: A short fic that shows a little bit of James and Lily’s lives the last year they were alive, one paragraph for each month.





	A year in the life

In October, James returned home one day with matching Halloween costumes for himself, Lily and Harry. Lily's jaw dropped when he took them out of the bag and showed her. They were costumes from _Grease_ , which James told Lily, rather excited, was one of the biggest movies in the muggle cinema a couple of years back. Lily couldn't do anything but shake her head, smile, and kiss the man. And so it was that on Halloween, James was dressed up as Danny, Lily was Sandy and Harry was the car from the end scene. James admitted to having used quite a few charms on Harry's, to make it look proper realistic. Despite herself, despite the dread that was permanently lodged in her chest, Lily was happy that evening.

In November, James was hardly ever at home. He accepted every mission he was asked to go on, and Lily didn't feel she could do much but to let him. She spent her evenings crying more often than not, wondering what she would do if one day, he didn't return home. But then Harry would start fussing and she would have no choice but to get herself together, and take care of him. And James always returned. He'd come through the door, tired and dirty more often than not, but always physically, and mostly mentally and emotionally, okay, and Lily always greeted him with a hug and a plea for him to stay home for a few days now.

In December, they were told to go into hiding. Voldemort was after them, was after Harry, and leaving the house was no longer safe. Lily took several deep breaths when they were told, but held her head high and took in everything Dumbledore said. She clutched James' hand under the table and he clutched back, his hand even clammier than hers. They'd go into hiding and Sirius would be their Secret Keeper. As Dumbledore was about to leave, Lily asked what would happen to their friends, to Marlene and Remus and Peter and Mary, and to James' parents. Would anyone let them know if something happened? They were assured that they would be told at once.

In January, Lily celebrated her 21st birthday. It was the quietest and most somber celebration she'd had since she was a child, it being only her, James, Sirius and Harry. Sirius told them about the world outside, about the things they didn't hear about from the radio; about the goblin family up North who had been brutally murdered, about his own brother having disappeared off the face of the earth and being presumed dead, about the several children being attacked by werewolves in their own bedrooms. Lily cried when she went to sleep that evening, and James held her close and whispered in her ear that it was all gonna work itself out soon. Very soon. Because how much worse could it possibly get now?

In February, James' parents died. They were old and they caught Dragon Pox, and it was hardly a surprise, their health having detoriated for quite some time. Nonetheless, James was crushed. He spent several days in bed, only getting up to go to the bathroom, to get food, or to pick Harry up, hold him close to his chest and cry quietly into his shoulder. Lily felt helpless, out of her debth, as she watched her husband experience the first real heartbreak of his life. But she made him food, washed his clothes, gently coerced him to take a bath, and held him in her arms. She did this for several days before she'd had enough. And as it turned out, tough love was the best way to deal with a broken James Potter.

In March, it was James' 21st birthday, and just like he did on Lily's 21st, Sirius came around. Once again, he told them everything the radio wouldn't. They listened, they nodded, they made conversation, but on the inside, their nerves were raging. Maybe it was because they hadn't been outside for months, maybe it was because they'd barely seen anyone but each other, but Lily couldn't remember ever feeling chronically nervous like this before. When she confessed her thoughts to James after they'd gone to bed that night, he told her he felt the same way, before he kissed her deeply and put his arms around her.

In April, Sirius comes bearing grave news. The Prewett-brothers had been murdered, brutally; they'd fought a hero's battle, the both of them, but were eventually slain. Lily was all out of tears, and merely nodded as she heard herself say a few words about “tragedy” and “gruesome”. Harry was sitting in her lap, his laugh sincere and cheerful as she bounced her legs up and down. She looked down on him, a tiny smile automatically finding its way to her lips. This small creature, he was innocent and naïve and had no idea how much danger he was in. Lily prayed that by the time he was old enough to understand, this would be over, and they could tell him about all the brave witches and wizards who gave their lives to resist the darkness that had once threatened to consume their community and all its citizens.

In May, Lily took to standing by the window and look outside. It looked peaceful out there, especially during the day, when the sun was high and she could see the green leaves on the trees, the flowers on the ground, and hear distant sounds of children's laughter. On one such day, James came up behind her, put his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. For a long while, they stood there like that, before James asked her what she wanted to do once the war was over and they could go on with their lives. Lily couldn't help but smile, and said that she wanted to travel all over the world, a dream she'd had since before she even knew she was a witch. And James told her that they could go wherever she wanted; a stunning beach in Thailand, a beautiful mountain peak in Austria, the wide plains of Kenya, a spectacular fjord in Norway... Anywhere she'd like, because he loved her more than life itself, and that wouldn't change no matter where in the world they were.

In June, Lily was told that Marlene, and her entire family, had been found dead. She was holding Harry in her arms and must have clutched him too tightly, because he started wailing. Before she knew what was happening, James had taken Harry from her and she fell backwards, only avoiding the floor because Sirius caught her in time. And then she cried. For the first time in several weeks, she cried, and it never seemed to stop. She cried all day, all night, and when she woke up the next morning, she cried more. Marlene... sweet, ridiculous, talented Marlene. And her entire family. Her sister, barely ten years old. Her parents, young and full of life. Their bodies were torn to bits, said Sirius, and never would Lily be able to say one final goodbye to the bright girl who had once come to Lily and offered her a Chocolate Frog in exchange for help on her Potions homework.

In July, it was Harry's first birthday. It was a subdued affair, but Sirius brought a toy broom that Harry found so delightful he destroyed a vase and knocked over a lamp. James was even more delighted, insisting that Harry would grow up to be a formidable Quidditch player. It was nice, in a way, that Harry was the focus for one evening. Not that Harry would remember it, but none of them could bring themselves to discuss any heavy matters when it was a baby's birthday that was the occasion. So they ate cake, played with Harry, found a muggle radio station where they joked around and played pop tunes, and ignored the fact that their friends and acquaintances were being murdered, one by one.

In August, Sirius came visiting more often. He looked exhausted, thin, and nervous. He gave them some quick updates; Remus was underground with other werewolves, Peter had gone into hiding, and Mary was still fighting the good fight. Edgar Bones had been found murdered, along with his wife and children. When James asked how Sirius was doing, Sirius merely shrugged his shoulders and said they were at war and that it didn't matter how he, personally, was doing. There would be time to take care of themselves once the war was won.

In September, there was a sense of forboding in the air that Lily couldn't quite shake. Sirius came over one evening and told them that they needed to make Peter their Secret Keeper, which they agreed to after hearing his reasons. News of more deaths reached them; Benjy Fenwick, Dorcas Meadowes, and Caradoc Dearborn. James was depressed, Lily could tell. He played with Harry, he made food, he cleaned around the house, but the spark in his eyes was gone. Lily felt no better herself, and the only thing she could muster up the energy to do to help, was to hold him tight whenever possible. At night, when she couldn't sleep or was up feeding Harry, she wondered if any of them would be okay when the war was over, even if they survived, or if the wounds were too deep.

In October, Lily lost everything. She heard James' shouts from the living room, heard the panic in his voice when he yelled at her to take Harry and run. But Lily froze, horribly torn between the choice of attempting to save her son and the one of helping her husband. And all she could think was that Peter had betrayed them... Kind, sweet Peter, her friend through so many years, her partner during Charms classes for all their seven years at Hogwarts. 

But then, all of a sudden, it didn't matter who had betrayed whom, because Lily heard that sickening thump, that heavy, earth-shattering sound of a lifeless body hitting the floor. Harry screamed, as if he knew that his father was dead, as if he knew that even if he and his mother came out of this alive, nothing would ever be the same. Lily stood her ground when he entered the room, her blood was rushing in her ears, the grief in her heart was overpowering every other emotion. He spoke, he told her to get out of the way, and as she refused, again and again while begging for her son's life, he came closer.

And then there was nothing. Lily screamed, because she knew that Harry had no one to protect him anymore. She was gone and James was gone. All was lost.

**Author's Note:**

> Idk, I just felt like writing some Jily, so I threw this together in a couple of hours, aka it's not my finest work lmao. Hope you enjoyed nonetheless! Come talk to me [on tumblr](https://pomonassprout.tumblr.com/) if you wanna♡


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